She's Dreaming Through the Noise
by Moon Ecstasy
Summary: A story heavily inspired by Vienna Teng's Recessional. What if Renge found out that Haruhi was a girl? A oneshot with a more poetic edge and almost all of the lyrics to Recessional imbedded into it. It's not really a romance so much as a one sided love.


05/17/11: The second story in my mass-edit.

No real comment except this story is heavily inspired by Vienna Teng's song Recessional and the story board images I got stuck in my head at work while I was on break and my old-school disk man was broken and playing this one song over and over and over!

So yeah I don't own the song or Ouran High School Host Club.

O0O

When she first saw him, she had dismissed him as unimportant. Too infatuated with the fantasy of Kyouya-kun she had made in her mind to see the kindness and beauty that shone through his natural smile. He had taught her not to force upon people her images of who she thought they should be and instead get to know who they really were.

And looking into his eyes while he gave her that life changing advice, she fell into a small love.

"Haruhi, would you like some coffee?" Renge smiles when he nods and asks what he'd like in it.

Plain coffee, no sugar.

If only she had more nerve. Fists clench tightly then release in a second. _No, not now._

OoOoOoO

As she gets to know him better, she falls deeper. This has to be love. She can't stop watching him, listening to him speak, the cool way he just smiles at the other club members jokes.

But he is closer to them than her. If they became closer, would he perhaps fall in love with her? Maybe during the school trip?

OoOoOoO

Haruhi looks around in wonder, having never been out of the country before. Her heart aches at the childish joy on his face. Lips move as he echoes the street signs. Renge raises her hand as if to touch his lips. Instead her fingers quickly tug his sleeve as she shows him other sights. Just to watch his face. Just to see the reaction.

Her heart races.

OoOoOoO

It was accidental; she hadn't known that he was changing. _He? No she... Haruhi is a girl? _Renge's heart aches but she huffs at herself and forces down the pain. "I wish you had told me this earlier," she smiles brightly.

"You're not mad?"

_How can I be? I loved you!_ "No, not mad. Actually I'm happy that I can share in the secret. Now I have a friend whom I can have girl talk with and sleepovers!" A friendship. That is all that this is and ever would be.

OoOoOoO

"Are you sure about this? The other girls still think you're a guy, what if they find out?"

"It might storm tonight. Let's spend the night together since I can't share a room with any of the guys."

The other girls would never know. They are on the other side of the mansion, under guard in case they try to sneak into the Host Club rooms. But her throat tightens at the thought of spending a night with Haruhi.

Haruhi settles on the satin bed and flops back with an ungraceful beauty. _What is this? She's not a guy! I can't love another woman!_

Renge settles beside Haruhi. _I never thought to find myself here like this. I never thought to find him... her here beside me. No not these thoughts. This is wrong. _

Haruhi's flannel night gown creates such contrast between them. _This is our distance. Worlds apart and separated further because she is not a man._ But she can feel it building inside her, something that won't be denied. Even the walls around them aren't enough to contain it.

"I'm so glad I was able to come. It's so beautiful here," she says and Renge knows she means the city. _No, the beauty lies here, now, in this moment now._ Haruhi turns and smiles at Renge, choking out all thoughts... _no room, can't breathe, she looks in my soul, straight to the centre, this is love._

_I don't want this!_

But she can't remember what it is she's not supposed to want.

OoOoOoO

In the terminal they wait for their plane to arrive. Renge clutches tightly at her corduroy dress suit as Haruhi sleeps soundly against her shoulder. Haruhi's weight gently presses against Renge, resting on the groves of her coat. Hair falls into the sleeping girl's eyes, her mouth lies askew. _Kiss her!_

The noise is incredible. The Host Club is putting on some silly impromptu show, announcements bleat over crackly speakers "...passengers missing ...looking for you..." but Haruhi continues dreaming through the noise.

_It means nothing!_

But she can't move.

OoOoOoO

_I think I love you._

The words she can't say. They are everything to her and yet nothing at all.

_I know I love you._

She wants to find Haruhi, to search for her in the offhand, casual, everyday things.

_I love you damn it._

Who is this person taking coffee no sugar?

_I love you! Make me stop!_

Who is this person echoing street signs?

_I love you! I love you! I love you!_

Who was this person? This person is a stranger in the shell of someone Renge had loved. Someone she can't love anymore. She is an heiress. This is madness.

Tears sting her eyes.

_Why can't I stop loving you?_

The words she can't say are echoing in her ears. A sweet, sweet sound she is never allowed to release.

_I can never tell you this._

They land and Haruhi's father is there to pick her up. "Well anyway," she says to Renge, "I'll see you around."

School would start again and life would go on. This trip had changed everything and nothing.

OoOoOoO

_Maybe time will draw dark curtains over this love of mine._


End file.
